What do I write here...I am somewhat lost for words and everyone who knows me knows that is a rarity.
I felt nervous today for some reason which was weird, I have been on this position before but not up here, maybe that was it.
I started ok, pars at the first couple before hitting a great drive that put the par five 3rd within reach. I got home but was just left of the green, but an up and down for birdie. My game felt off but an approach from the rough on the next to a foot meant that I was -2 thru 4. Just the start I wanted. I had chances at the next 3 holes but made none of them before making a good save for par at the 8th. Birdie at 9 saw me turn 3 under for the day and in the mix with 9 to play.
Missed greens at 10 and 12 left two par putts that both ran over the edges. Birdie chances at 13 and 14 slid by too. My putting that had been so average all week was contributing to a poor back nine. At this stage though I was hanging in and playing solid, how the next 40mins will affect my year only time will tell. I made bogies on the next three holes followed by a birdie on the last to close in 4 over par for a sole destroying 1 over day. Throw in all the words like devastated and shattered and I felt like all of those in that moment walking off the 18th. In a world where I am ranked by what I earn, I just cost myself some $20k on that back nine.
You have any number of emotions running through your mind and believe me I had all of them.
What I am able to say though is that despite the finish to my week on that back nine the reality is that for the first time up here I got myself into contention with 9 to play. Yes I did a really poor job of that situation but what I need to do is turn my attention to why and also focus on the positives from the week. Getting kicked in the guts up here hurts but only if you aren't wearing armour. I am going to get stronger from this, I am going to let that kick in the guts bounce off and I am going to be better the next time I play myself into that position, hopefully next week. I could have shot 4 over on my first nine of the week and I may not have been playing at all today. The fact that I did it on the closing nine just means I need to do more work on my putting, more work on my stock or go to shot and more work on my routines to place all my trust in those when I start to get tight. I failed today but I will be getting up tomorrow and going again, working hard to be better for the sucky 2 hrs of the back nine from today.
Sorry for disappointing any of you following along online today but I'm also glad I was able to make your Sunday morning a little more exciting for a few hrs when I was moving forward. I hope to do a better job for you next week.